Man’s brain is hemispheric, and as there are two parts creating the whole; these two parts control wholly different aspects of our psyche.
Sports fans are no different.
You see, the left hemisphere is logical, sequential, rational, analytical; it examines the smaller details. This is all going on while your right hemisphere is random, intuitive, holistic, synthesizing, subjective; it’s looking at the big picture, but it’s here to party.
As you can imagine, it’s hard to listen to both halves at the same time. There is indefinitely some prevailing logic that you tell yourself is the next step, whether that’s based on intuition or logic. In the sporting world, these two sides of your brain were put to war during the fantastically frenzied periods of MLB and NFL free agency, as well as the NHL trading deadline.
For argument’s sake, I’m ignoring the NBA trade deadline that saw almost nothing happen this past February 19, besides Drew Gooden going to the Spurs on waivers, after the deadline passed.
In these turbulent times, these annual flirtations with the leagues’ best and brightest can leave a fan confused. As a fan of your favorite team, your right hemisphere wants to see a big splash. Yankees fans have been spoiled, to say the least. Their team consistently overpays for great talent, more often than not, setting the market price for comparable players on every other team. This past off-season the Yanks made a serious raid on their own coffers, shelling out $423 Million dollars (this is not hyperbole, folks) on three, THREE, free-agents: C.C. Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, and Mark Teixeira.
According to GM Brian Cashman, “It was between signing those three quality players and balancing the National debt of
The right hemisphere is screaming to the scrape the bottom of the barrel for any type of tradable commodity to get the Big Name. Red Skins fans’ right-side must have been so very pleased at the awe-inducing, $100 Million contract their management just handed over to defensive tackle, Albert Haynesworth, not to mention the $55 Million dollar contract extended to corner back Deangelo Hall.
You see, in the gamut of emotions the right hemisphere affords the sports fan, there is no need to save money; to manage the team’s future. There is just now, and you NEED the BEST player right NOW.
This type of behavior is on display on almost any sports website you go to. There will be some poor message-board troller stirring up bile amongst the faithful. Yesterday’s NHL trade deadline went by amidst some compelling mid-level deals, but big names that were rumored to be on the move like Jay Bouwmeester, Keith Tkachuk, and most notably Chris Pronger, did not move. Chris Pronger, whose strongest trade-rumor had him going to the first-place Boston Bruins, seems to be the cause for some ridiculous right-brain activity among the Bruins faithful. Look at the following posts on the Boston Globe’s Bruins Blog:
1. had there [sic] chance but with the team as is they won't get past the 2nd round way to go Chiarelli
March 4,
6. … the pom pom waving lemmings congregate. A 41 year old and a 5th D-man. Pathetic.
March 4,
16. Grampa [sic] Recchi and Who?
first round flops!! these guys are dropping faster then [sic] General Motors stocks.
Grampas [sic] good for 14 goals a season and already has 13, how can i contain the excitement and anticipation of 1 more {before geritol fails him}?
March 4,
By these posts you’d think a team fighting for its playoff life had just stood pat when suitors were giving players away. As it stands, the Bruins, astride the league and the Eastern Conference, picked up two vital pieces for a long Cup run in veteran forward Mark Recchi and stay-at-home defenseman Steve Montador. For you left-brain fans out there, perhaps you’ll appreciate your humble scribe’s inroads in convincing these apocalyptically-driven fans to see the silver lining, albeit sardonically:
5. "oh no! they stuck with their 1st place roster! Time to panic."
What's everyone's problem? These deals only strengthened the team. People would rather have Pronger and no kessel? No Bergeron? I don't think those moves would have made the Bruins stronger.
Everyone should be happy with the amount of vet presence this team now has. Now it's time to get to work and start winning again. We won with this team to get to the top, now it's time to stay there.
March 4,
And…
10. People seem to forget that more often than not, playoff stars are not the ones that shine during the regular season. Your roll players are the ones that win you the little battles. The older, vet guys are the ones to keep the team on an even keel through the ups and downs of playoff hockey. Recchi has two cups, and shoring up the defense is never something to dismiss. I think too many fans missed the point of today's trades. We didn't make huge waves with the names, but we sure as hell got some talent, poise and leadership.
Anyone who says these moves were pathetic doesn't really get the philosophy of this front office. Don't care how long you've been around, these moves make sense.
March 4,
Both sides of the brain have their merits, though, and it would be irresponsible of me to leave them out.
For all the talk about the forget-the-future right-brainers, it is undeniable that they make the best and most passionate fans. These are the people you converse with in dark pubs wherein the most coherent argument against logic is, “Well my team is ALWAYS better, so F- you, jerk!”
These are the men and women who live and die by their teams. These are the men and women who will cry when their favorite player is traded. These are the sports fans who are the soul of the team; the crazy, screaming, wild
soul.
The brass of any sports franchise is inevitably made up of left-brainers. Those who make decisions based solely on the future, financial, and immediate needs of the team. GMs cannot make decisions based on emotion and sentiment. They suspend their fan-hood, and attempt to make their team better anyway they can. That does not necessarily mean making a huge splash in any free-agent or trade pool—unless your name is Glen Sather, one of a few suspected right-brainers in a GM position.
Eh, but who am I kidding? I think it’s fair to say that the majority of sports fans everywhere are a little bit of both. A bit of logic goes a long way in justifying a move that your right brain can’t handle. And in those fleeting moments of glory when your team wins the Big One, is there a better feeling in the world than being completely illogical?
Just watch KG and ask yourself this: What?
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